It’s an epic match, the empath and the narcissist. To the narcissist, the empath is heaven, the source of the unconditional love and affection they’ve been craving. But to the empath, the narcissist is just hell disguised as what they thought was love. Initially it seems as if it’s just two opposites that attract, intense and passionate, but it’s runs much deeper than that. And ultimately, it is the narcissist who pulls the empath down into the rabbit hole of their toxic love. And yet the pattern persists, the empath always seems to fall for the wounded narcissist and the question of ‘why’ goes unanswered.
It’s a difficult pattern to understand because your average person would think “narcissist” and run. It’s general knowledge that a narcissistic partner means a one sided love, the epitome of give an inch take a mile, con artists and compulsive liars. All of which is true, but the mind of an empath is much more complex than to stop there.
A narcissist is someone who has perfected the craft of lying to the point where it’s most likely normal and unconscious to them. As a result, they’re constantly accusing their partners of cheating or lying and are suspicious for no apparent reason. They struggle with taking responsibility for their actions and instead find every reason to blame other people.
But the thing about empaths is they don’t see narcissists as what they are, they see them as ‘broken’ and ‘fixable.’ They see every fault of a narcissist and find a way to love it a little harder. They see a narcissists accusations of cheating and lying as their insecurities shining through, that in their past they must’ve had a heartbreak so painful that now they’re scarred. They think they’re in need of growing up, of someone to help guide them and show them how to take responsibility for their actions.
An empath would never push away a person because they’re broken, instead they would work every day to help them heal and piece them back together.
Empaths have hearts of gold that are constantly putting others needs before their own. Without even realizing it, they will throwing away their own well-being to sacrifice for this person who does nothing but drain them. They’re convinced this is love and what they’re doing will help in the long run. Empaths are givers with the best intentions, genuine and loving in their nature, and the completely unaware that the challenge ahead of them is unfixable.
Empaths are always searching for the good in every soul they meet, that’s why when they cross paths with a narcissist it’s no different. They will give their narcissistic partner the benefit of the doubt more times than they can keep count of. Forgiving them constantly because they truly believe they are just broken souls in need of a love so intense that they make it through this ‘funk’ they’re in.
But the fact of the matter is that a narcissist is a dead end, cureless personality disorder that no amount of love could change. It won’t be an immediate comprehension, as the empath won’t allow themselves to give up, but slowly the narcissist will prove their inability and resistance to change.
The narcissist will exhaust the empath with their constant need to be the center of attention and their failure to reciprocate the love given to them. A narcissist is never satisfied, ever, and sadly, the empath will come to realize this.
So why does the empath always seem to fall for the wounded narcissist? Because they’re good, decent people who were placed on this earth to help others. They are fixers who see a broken person and try to heal them. But unfortunately, a narcissist is too big of a problem for one person to solve.