If You Treated People as if They Would Be Gone Tomorrow, How Would It Look?

I’m sick and tired of shitty people. I’m sick of douchebags and users. I’m tired of selfish pricks. I do everything in my power not to hurt people or be mean to people. Isn’t that common? I have found out that it’s really not.

I want everyone to really think about this. If someone is very sick or prognosis is really bad, we tend to be overly kind or helpful. Think about whether or not you would pick up their phone call or not answer and say to yourself “I’ll call them back later”.

How would you treat this person, who has until tomorrow to live, or would you not treat them differently?

I know I’m not perfect and I’d treat that person a lot more fragile and I’d be nicer. Things that I may question or procrastinate on for a friend would not be how I treated someone if they were dying the next day.

I wouldn’t allow them to get up or expend too much energy. I’d get whatever it was they wanted or needed. I’d just be there for that person in anyway I was able to be.

I would be careful not to hurt their feelings. I would ask whether or not they wanted to talk about what was going to happen or not so I didn’t continually mention it and irritate the person.

I would answer their phone calls and texts without question. There wouldn’t be “I’m too busy” because really, when it comes to someone’s life, I’m not too busy ever. If the person asked me to do them a favor, I would.

There may be times in my life right now that I question whether or not to do something for someone. But if that person asked me and I knew they were going to die the next day, I would do it in the snap of a finger.

I would obviously treat them kindly. I’m a kind person in general. I would be empathetic and try to imagine what that person is going through.

I would ask the person if there was anything specific they wanted to do or see. Maybe they want to see a movie or visit a special place. I’d make sure to do what I could for that person who dies tomorrow.

So, how would you be different if you knew a friend or acquaintance was going to die the next day? Would it phase you? Would you not really think you had to treat them differently? Would you be nicer to that person or act the same as you always do?

Thinking about this has got me real emotional and kind of sad. It makes me believe if we approached everyone we know and meet in this way, things would be different.

I think many of the people in the world would be more aware of their actions and behaviors and how they affect others. I also think many would be nicer and care more if we acted as if someone we know or are friends with we’re going to die the next day.

I believe we would take that extra step to do everything in our power not to hurt people. I know I personally would. I definitely know I’d be more careful with my words and my actions so I don’t offend anyone.

Some people are just so self-absorbed in the world that they fail to see how they may be impacting or influencing someone’s life. They can’t see or aren’t aware that their actions and behaviors can negatively affect another person nor do they understand how it may affect them.

I just think people would be more careful and aware of how they act and behave. The world may be a better place to live in if we approached everyone as if they are dead tomorrow. It wouldn’t feel so cold and lonely.

None of us are promised or guaranteed tomorrow. Anything can happen to any one of us at any given time. So, why not treat people as if they know they’re going to die tomorrow? That person may not be around tomorrow. And that’s the reality of the matter.

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A Letter to Those I Have Hurt

I know that an apology isn’t nearly enough to make up for the pain and hurt I’ve caused each and every one of you. I know it doesn’t seem like it but I am really trying to be a better person than I was yesterday. There is no excuse or justification for my behaviors or what I’ve said. I own it. And now, I have to deal with the consequences of losing decent and good hearted people.

Growing up, I was bullied by other people. When I reached high school, I was the bully. As much as I regret that part of my life, I can’t take it back. And I want to sincerely apologize to those I treated poorly and unfairly.

I would do absolutely anything to make amends to those I bullied and hurt throughout high school. It eats at me every single day and I pray this reaches those who I need to make amends with.

I talked a lot of shit about people growing up and that didn’t stop til about 5 years ago which, to me, is still pretty recent. I was trying to be cool or act like a tough cookie, but it only made me that much more shallow and cowardly.

There’s no excuse for my actions and my heart breaks because of what I did. You all didn’t deserve that. And I’m truly sorry for talking shit about you for selfish reasons of wanting to be “cool” and “accepted”.

To my ex that I cheated on a long time ago (about 8-10 years ago), I am sorry for ruining the relationship and being selfish in thinking about my wants and needs only and not taking you into consideration. I caused you a lot of heartache and pain. I caused you to have trust issues that may have impacted your relationships after. But I pray and hope you have found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated and not someone like me.

To my ex-fiancé, I don’t know where or why we weren’t destined to be together but I did put forth every ounce of effort to making it work. That doesn’t mean I didn’t do anything wrong. I am sorry for not being fully honest about finances or bringing you in the loop of my plans. I know that you just wanted to be a part of my plan and my life in general but I held you at arms length. Not a day goes by that I don’t beat myself up over it.

To the few who’s presence in my life was short lived, I acted out and acted irrationally. I made false accusations and acted like a total bitch for no reason. I let my insecurities and fear get the best of me. You deserve to know how awesome you are and have people in your life that bring out your awesomeness. It’s going to be a long time before I am able to forgive myself for things I did and said. But please know that I would take it back in a heartbeat if I could. I’ve lost you already but I hope this was a learning experience and that I am different to those I cross paths with in the future.

I owe a million apologies to every member of my family for name calling, not being there all the time and taking advantage of your kindness. It wasn’t until I thought about why I continued to do the same thing over and over again. Of course I was grateful and appreciative of everything you all have done for me but I continued to make the same mistakes rather than own it and fix it. I promise from here on out, I will make the necessary changes in order to better my life and show you my gratitude rather than speak it. I love you all and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done.

I know I have a long way to go in terms of changing to be a better person. I know it’s hard to believe but I’ve come a long way from who I was before. I’m a work in progress and now that I’m aware of my shitty and rude behaviors and actions, I promise all of you that I will not repeat those same mistakes again.

I hope this reaches all of you. I just want each and every one of you to know how truly sorry I am for hurting you and that I’ll do what I can in my control to make it right. I understand if you all don’t want to hear from me again and I’ll respect your wishes. But I do hope some of you will accept my apology and be a part of my journey to be a better person.

I know what I’ve done wrong in my life and now that I’ve identified those wrongs, I’m going to do everything I can to make things right. I have had more sleepless nights because the thought of hurting you all absolutely crushes my soul to pieces. I’ve cried until there were no more tears to come streaming down my face. I live with such regret. At times, I hate myself for the hurt I’ve put you all through.

Please know that I am deeply sorry for causing you any pain or suffering. I’ll never be the same now that I’ve come to an awareness of my behaviors and actions and how they’ve affected you all. Each one of you hold a special place in my heart that I will cherish for the rest of my life. You all are the reason I will do better tomorrow and the next day until my time comes to an end.

26 Quotes For When You Can’t Escape Your Past

Sometimes our pasts feel so painful that we’ll never be able to escape them. It’s the daunting weight on them on our shoulders as we rest our heads on our pillows at night and when we open our eyes in the morning. But the truth is, we can be scarred and feel broken, but there will always be a new day to start over. There will always be another chance to pick yourself up and try again.

So take these quotes and keep them close to your heart because even on your worst day, you’re still a little bit lighter than the day before. And before you know it, your heavy past will be nothing but a faint memory.

    “Be miserable, or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer
    “Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” – Og Mandino
    “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James
    “Fear cannot be without hope nor hope without fear.” – Baruch Spinoza
    “Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now.” – Denis Waitley
    “If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie
    “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” – Thomas Jefferson
    “Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.” – William James
    “It’s always too early to quit.” – Norman Vincent Peale
    “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler
    “Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” – Robert H. Schuller
    “Things do not happen. Things are made to happen.” – John F. Kennedy
    “The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” – Thomas Paine
    “Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliot
    “You can’t expect to hit the jackpot if you don’t put a few nickels in the machine.” – Flip Wilson
    “To be a good loser is to learn how to win.” – Carl Sandburg
    “Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
    “Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.” – Walter Elliot
    “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” – Aristotle Onassis
    “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
    “Believe you can and you are halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
    “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” – Jim Rohn
    “Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.” – Democritus
    “Don’t let the fear of striking out hold you back.” – Babe Ruth
    “We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.” – Ronald Reagan
    “With self-discipline most anything is possible.” – Theodore Roosevelt.

Don’t be afraid to conquer your fears and chase after your dreams. Embrace the present and try your best; you’ll be shocked by how much you can accomplish.

How To Hold Up Your Part of the Relationship When You’re Depressed

It’s not the easiest thing to conquer. It’s very difficult to participate in a relationship when you can’t even fathom getting up to shower. Everyone is different when it comes to depression and how it affects people.

That being said, some of the suggestions may need to be tweaked to suit your life and lifestyle. Some of these ideas may help and some may help generate ideas that work for you. I feel your pain and fight the demon of depression, so please know you are not alone.

JOURNAL

A journal between the two of you is a good way to keep in contact or write little messages to each other when one is away or not around. You can write how you’re feeling to your significant other or just a quick note letting them know you love them and care about them.

This also keeps the dialect and communication open between the two of you. Some people have a more positive experience with writing rather than talking. Others may be able to to write better than they speak. Whatever it is you and your partner agree to do, stick to it. It’s easy to drop the ball when depression is involved. Depression knows no limits.

DATE NIGHT

Schedule date night. Whether it is something to do inside or going out to see a movie, just something where the two of you can spend time together and be with each other.

Life is chaotic and throws many curve balls out of nowhere, so it’s easy to let this fall by the wayside. Do not allow it to become a habit.

GET A CARD OR MAKE A CARD

This is just a living gesture that helps your significant other feel cared about. It also gives a sense of security to the other that you care about them and wanted to make sure they know they are special.

ASK IF/WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS FROM YOU

Be straightforward with the other. Tell the other what you need and don’t be afraid to ask the other for help. Often times, we feel we have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders but we don’t.

We can ask for help. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable. It shows strength and courage to ask someone to fight this battle of depression with you.

ASK ABOUT THEIR DAY

This helps show you care about them regardless of how you’re feeling or if you had a bad day. It also opens the line of communication, which is critical for relationship success with or without depression.

This is also a way to take yourself out of your own mind and funk and focus on something else. It gives your mind a break to focus on what is important to you and for the relationship.

This is not going to be easy. It may seem easy at first to some people and for others it may seem like a daunting and dreadful chore. I know both sides. But you’ve got to put every effort forth to show in little ways that you are in fact still in the relationship. If you’re struggling with holding up your side of the relationship because depression is being a little bitch, you got this.

I Am Forgiving You Because I Deserve Peace

There’s not a bone in my body that wants to forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of it. You don’t deserve my forgiveness in the slightest, but I’m not forgiving you for you, I’m forgiving you for me.

I’m forgiving you so I can sleep at night without fear. The amount of physical and psychological damage you did to my life is unexplainable. Anything and everything you put me through are things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It is inexcusable.

I’m forgiving you so that I can leave this in the past and no longer allow it to affect my future. You’ve had too much power over me for so long and it’s coming to an end. You’re never going to change or own the fact that what you did was wrong, so I’m doing it for you.

Because I know if I don’t forgive you, all the memories that make my stomach turn will continue to haunt me forever. Cornering me in the bathroom and intimidating me by getting so close to my face I could feel the heat from your breath on my cheek. Instigating fights and antagonizing me until I had absolutely nothing left in me to argue anymore.

Yelling and screaming at me while I was severely ill, telling me lie after lie and genuinely believing it was okay, cheating and blaming me for everything wrong in your life. I’m done allowing the memory of you to consume my mind.

I’m forgiving you because I know what it’s like to have demons, to have a past that still haunts you, and to battle mental illness, but the thing is, you’re sicker than I ever was or will ever be.

You’re so unhappy with your own life, that you had to stain mine. You staged prescription medication all over the floor and then proceeded to call the police reporting to them I overdosed. All because you didn’t want me in our apartment that night for some reason, and the reason doesn’t even matter anymore.

You put a mark on my background so that potential jobs I wanted may not hire me because of a psychiatric history. And even though the hospital I was taken to found no evidence of medication in my body and completed a domestic violence assessment, the initial reason for bringing me to the hospital was an overdose and that is on record permanently.

And then the day came when you woke me up by taking a pistol and smacking it on my thigh. You held it to my head while I pleaded to you to cover my dead body to spare my family seeing their little girl like that.

Thankfully, I was given a split second to make the decision to live or die and I chose to live.I booked it out of that apartment so fast I didn’t care what was left behind.

I ran with one slipper on, no cell phone to call anyone because you had stolen both my personal and work cell phone, to the police department a few miles down the street.

I ran faster than the speed of light and when I got there, I collapsed on the floor and officers called my family.

The last text message from you was “never bye, believe that love, never bye…” which has been permanently stamped in my memory.

Looking back at it now, I don’t know whether I am more resentful at you or law enforcement and judicial system for not helping and forcing me to jump through every last hoop possible to obtain a restraining order against you.

But I have forgiven the officers and judges I encountered throughout my rollercoaster in hell.

But you knew they weren’t going to do much, didn’t you? You knew the laws without having to look them up because of the amount of times you’ve been arrested for domestic violence or related offenses but never convicted because we were all too scared for our lives.

Finally, I was no longer scared and fought for my right to live my life the way I wanted to. Endless battles in and out of courtrooms became exhausting but there was never a thought in my mind to drop the charges no matter how exhausted both mentally and physically I was.

Justice needed to be served for what you did to me and the others. I became the voice for the others because you silenced them. I became the voice for future victims to save them from a hell of a lot of pain and torture. No one deserves the hell you take joy in putting us through.

I can finally say I completely and truly forgive you. You are a sick, twisted, miserable person and I feel sorry that this is how you choose to live your life.

After everything you put me through, I overcame it all and gave myself peace of mind. Rather than hold onto these poisonous resentments, I am setting them free so I can live as normal of a life as I can. This is my final goodbye, have a nice life.