Struggles of an Empath Born in the Wrong Generation

Oh, what a struggle if is to feel as if you belong 10 years ahead of where you are now or 10 years behind where you’re currently at. For me, I think I was born a generation or two late. I’m about 10-15 years older mentally than what my real age actually is.

Being an empath ultimately means you have the unique ability to feel what it’s like to be in the life of another. You’re able to feel what they feel and understand their struggle. Empaths are able to intuitively feel what others are feeling and are often affected by the energies radiating off of those around.

I can’t say that I’ve met many millennials that possess this rare quality. I see it more in the baby boomer generation. The baby boomers is probably the era I was supposed to be in, but apparently I never got the memo.

I. Constantly being misunderstood

Empaths are constantly misunderstood because they’re so in tune with their own feelings and emotions as well as those of others that there may be times when they intertwine and communication gets lost.

They’re also misunderstood because they feel so deeply for others and feel things on a totally different level than the average person.

2. Putting others before yourself

Empaths have a tendency to put the needs and feelings of others in front of their own. They’re willing to do almost anything for others even if it interferes with taking care of themselves.

3. Constantly being called over-emotional or over-sensitive

Even though this may very well be true, I think it has more to do with how self-absorbed someone else is that they can’t even bother themselves with “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes,”. While empaths have to keep themselves in check, their ability to feel another’s feelings and emotions makes them so much more grateful for the little things in life.

4. Obsessing over almost anything

One of the reasons these recent catastrophic natural disasters have deeply impacted me on an emotional level is because being an empath, I could feel the devastation and helplessness people were and continue to feel. Empaths who can’t experience what a certain situation is like will often feel the feelings and emotions of others more intensely.

I can say that most empaths were obsessing over the hurricanes the last few weeks with confidence. I know that I was consumed by the coverage and needed to know every last detail.

5. Trouble relating to others and making friends

It’s difficult to meet people or make new friends when you’re an empath because there’s no mutual level of understanding. Some may feel like they don’t belong or that there are very few people who are actually empathetic people. Personally, I have found myself becoming more isolative as well as avoiding people or meeting up with people because I’ve already given up on meeting people who are like me.

Having empathy is an amazing thing and helps open your eyes to the small things in life that truly matter. Being an empath does not come without its difficulties and struggles as well as the way it spills over into different areas of life.

It is quite difficult feeling as if you are older than you really are because no one (or very few) can relate to you and experience things in a selfless way. Empaths experience life in a totally different way than your average person. I’m grateful to be an empath because I see so many different perspectives and ways of life, but it definitely comes with some obstacles and challenges. It is well worth it!


The Disaster of an Empath and Wounded Narcissist

It’s an epic match, the empath and the narcissist. To the narcissist, the empath is heaven, the source of the unconditional love and affection they’ve been craving. But to the empath, the narcissist is just hell disguised as what they thought was love. Initially it seems as if it’s just two opposites that attract, intense and passionate, but it’s runs much deeper than that. And ultimately, it is the narcissist who pulls the empath down into the rabbit hole of their toxic love. And yet the pattern persists, the empath always seems to fall for the wounded narcissist and the question of ‘why’ goes unanswered.

It’s a difficult pattern to understand because your average person would think “narcissist” and run. It’s general knowledge that a narcissistic partner means a one sided love, the epitome of give an inch take a mile, con artists and compulsive liars. All of which is true, but the mind of an empath is much more complex than to stop there.

A narcissist is someone who has perfected the craft of lying to the point where it’s most likely normal and unconscious to them. As a result, they’re constantly accusing their partners of cheating or lying and are suspicious for no apparent reason. They struggle with taking responsibility for their actions and instead find every reason to blame other people.

But the thing about empaths is they don’t see narcissists as what they are, they see them as ‘broken’ and ‘fixable.’ They see every fault of a narcissist and find a way to love it a little harder. They see a narcissists accusations of cheating and lying as their insecurities shining through, that in their past they must’ve had a heartbreak so painful that now they’re scarred. They think they’re in need of growing up, of someone to help guide them and show them how to take responsibility for their actions.

An empath would never push away a person because they’re broken, instead they would work every day to help them heal and piece them back together.

Empaths have hearts of gold that are constantly putting others needs before their own. Without even realizing it, they will throwing away their own well-being to sacrifice for this person who does nothing but drain them. They’re convinced this is love and what they’re doing will help in the long run. Empaths are givers with the best intentions, genuine and loving in their nature, and the completely unaware that the challenge ahead of them is unfixable.

Empaths are always searching for the good in every soul they meet, that’s why when they cross paths with a narcissist it’s no different. They will give their narcissistic partner the benefit of the doubt more times than they can keep count of. Forgiving them constantly because they truly believe they are just broken souls in need of a love so intense that they make it through this ‘funk’ they’re in.

But the fact of the matter is that a narcissist is a dead end, cureless personality disorder that no amount of love could change. It won’t be an immediate comprehension, as the empath won’t allow themselves to give up, but slowly the narcissist will prove their inability and resistance to change.

The narcissist will exhaust the empath with their constant need to be the center of attention and their failure to reciprocate the love given to them. A narcissist is never satisfied, ever, and sadly, the empath will come to realize this.

So why does the empath always seem to fall for the wounded narcissist? Because they’re good, decent people who were placed on this earth to help others. They are fixers who see a broken person and try to heal them. But unfortunately, a narcissist is too big of a problem for one person to solve.