Just Because You’re Living With Your Parents Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Succeeding in Life

After having been on our own, most do not want to go back to living with their parents. There’s a sense of individuality you feel at risk of losing. The freedom and ability to be by yourself or spend time alone are coming to an end. But not really.

First, you need be grateful you even have the opportunity to move back to your parents. Not everyone does.

Try to think of it in a positive light and think of the things you’ll be able to do when you move back. Maybe it is working on your finances to make sure you’re financially educated when you move out again. Whatever the case may be, approach it with a badass attitude. You’ve already proven yourself that you can make it on your own so you got this.

Yes, It’ll be a challenge but well worth it, so drill this into your head every chance you get, it’s an opportunity rather than a setback. Don’t allow yourself to cause negativity in your mind.

Some parents are overbearing and others are more avoidant but having time to bond with your parents no matter what type of relationship you have with them is priceless. You’re lucky you even have parents to go back to, so take this time to savor every moment with them.

You being at your parents for a while can also give you a chance to downsize and get rid of things you’ve been hoarding over the years. Less is better, so try it out and you’ll see how you start appreciating the little things even more.

If we all took a step back and thought about others and how their circumstances may be worse, it helps put things into perspective a little bit. Perspective is sometimes what we need in order to be more in touch with those things that really matter in our life. You’re just starting a new chapter in your life, so this new experience will boost your resilience, which down the line will help you overcome any future obstacle.

This is also an opportunity to show your parents on a daily basis how much you’ve grown as a person. Parents love to see how far you’ve grown. The best gift you can give your parents is to show them how good of a job they did with you.

You have control over what this opportunity can be for you, it can definitely be a positive turning point in your life. Think about it in a way that enhances your life and makes it better.

Understand that this isn’t the worst thing in life to happen and that it is temporary, so cheer up and go make the best of it.

Advertisements

You May Not Have Thought I Was Worth It, But Someone Will

You may not have thought I was worth the fight. Well, obviously you didn’t because we wouldn’t be where we are right now if you did. I put my worth in the hands of you, a miserable and condescending douche, so I should have known my worth was next to nothing to you. You’re loss. Someone will see my worth and treat me as such.

Every time I brought up my feelings about something or that I was upset, you immediately went on the defense and blamed me. You’re lack of acknowledgment was telling enough of how much you thought I was worth.

You ignored anything I was going through and found something to make it about you. And when you did that, I actually sat there and listened and comforted you as a good girlfriend would. But in hindsight, you didn’t give a shit about anything I went through or any of the struggles I conquered everyday. That says what you thought I was worth. Nothing.

You said I was overreacting and overly sensitive. You said I was reading into things too much. But turns out, I wasn’t. I wasn’t worth the conversation when you decided to up and leave. Goes to show my worth to you throughout the entire relationship.

You never had my back. I was fighting battles that your friends and family started with me while you sat on the sidelines and watched as if it were a match. I wasn’t worth defending in your eyes.

Because of the hell you put me through, I am now the one and only holder of my worth. I have defined my worth and no one will ever be in charge of that again. Side note, it was you that wasn’t worth it.

Someone will appreciate my sarcasm and brutal honesty. Someone will notice the small things I do for them on a consistent basis. You never did and for that, you didn’t deserve me.

There is someone out there who will be able to see past my mistakes and help me instead of throw me to the curb. Someone won’t judge my past or my background and see me for the strong and passionate person I am. You couldn’t see that and clearly it wasn’t worth it to see. But it will be to someone. You’re loss again, buddy.

You’ll never find someone as chill and laid back as me. You’ll never find someone who thinks the world of you and would put you over their own issues any day.

I am for sure worth more than you ever cared to realize. I was the one who was too good for you. You didn’t deserve me or anything I gave you materialistically or emotionally.

So, thanks to you, I’ll never settle for “okay”. I deserve much, much more than I ever gave myself credit for. But because you treated me like a worthless piece of shit, I was able to find my worth from within.

In the end, I ended up gaining so much more without you in my life then when you were in it. My worth is mine to define and you no longer have the hold on my worth. I’ve released myself from it and will never let it into the hands of another again.

The Last Thing Any of us Need is the Someone Who Can’t Make Up Their Mind

When I asked you what we were considered to be or what “we” meant, you dodged the question at all costs. I don’t think I asked a particularly hard question to answer. The truth is, you just didn’t know what you wanted and probably still don’t. I won’t be strung along until you decide whether or not you want to be with me so this whole “us” and “we” is over.

I specifically told you I wasn’t looking for a Facebook relationship change status or to meet your family next week. I wasn’t asking to make things public, I just wanted to know for myself. It had everything to do with my security and understanding of the relationship so that I could be given the chance to continue or walk away.

Because you wanted to toy with my heart and emotions, you just lost a good girl who would have fought for you and the relationship. You gave away someone who is loyal, honest to a fault, loving, caring and generous. But you should know about her generosity, right? after all, it was my generosity that we were able to hang out and see each other, right?

You couldn’t see past your damn self to see that I only wanted some clarity about our relationship for my own peace of mind and sanity. It was always about “I want…” or ” I won’t… ” because it was always about you in your selfish mind.

Maybe had you provided a simple answer, there wouldn’t have been ridiculous arguments or unnecessary discussions and comments. You wanted to think I was acting crazy and emotional when I brought up how I felt rather than address my feelings and move on. You lost a good girl buddy and I don’t feel sorry for you one bit.

I was always thinking about you and making you happy. I did everything I could for you and for us to be together. But I was never at the forefront of your mind for anything. I was simply a passing of time. I was an extra in the movie of your life. What a sad realization that was for me. It’s a hard pill to swallow after opening myself up to you after years of abuse and being treated like shit.

I told you straight up what my intentions were and you said you felt the same. Do you remember that? I specifically told you I wasn’t looking for a husband but I also wasn’t looking for a random booty call or hook up.

I also remember telling you that I wasn’t looking for a husband because I do not intend on getting married, ever. You knew I was looking for something with the potential to grow into something more serious. You said you were on the same page but clearly you weren’t.

You claimed to be “super busy” and “not a lot of free time in my schedule” but if you actually cared and wanted “us” to move forward, you would have found the time and put forth the effort to make it work. I even told you that I would come out by you to see you, regardless of how much time we spent together. There’s no excuse you can use to try and justify your reasoning for not putting in the time and effort.

I made it so easy for you it’s mind-boggling. It was so easy for you emotionally, financially and physically. You didn’t need a penny. I was always there for you and always made sure to ask if there was anything I could do for you. Yet, to get an answer to the simple question of “what are we” or “what does us mean” turned out to be impossible.

What could I have done to have received an answer from you? How many other ways could I have worded it so that you understood what I was asking? I guess it doesn’t even matter anymore. Because I’m walking away unless I get a definitive answer from you, like yesterday.

I’m more pissed that I wasted time and energy on someone who didn’t deserve me. I’m hurt that I allowed myself to open up to someone who could most likely not care whether I was dead or alive.

I deserve to be a priority in someone’s life. I deserve someone who values and respects me enough to tell me the truth and not be afraid to be an honest person. I am worth someone’s time, effort and love. You may not have been that someone and that’s okay. Just be human enough to be honest and straightforward about things rather than string me along and waste my time.

If You Treated People as if They Would Be Gone Tomorrow, How Would It Look?

I’m sick and tired of shitty people. I’m sick of douchebags and users. I’m tired of selfish pricks. I do everything in my power not to hurt people or be mean to people. Isn’t that common? I have found out that it’s really not.

I want everyone to really think about this. If someone is very sick or prognosis is really bad, we tend to be overly kind or helpful. Think about whether or not you would pick up their phone call or not answer and say to yourself “I’ll call them back later”.

How would you treat this person, who has until tomorrow to live, or would you not treat them differently?

I know I’m not perfect and I’d treat that person a lot more fragile and I’d be nicer. Things that I may question or procrastinate on for a friend would not be how I treated someone if they were dying the next day.

I wouldn’t allow them to get up or expend too much energy. I’d get whatever it was they wanted or needed. I’d just be there for that person in anyway I was able to be.

I would be careful not to hurt their feelings. I would ask whether or not they wanted to talk about what was going to happen or not so I didn’t continually mention it and irritate the person.

I would answer their phone calls and texts without question. There wouldn’t be “I’m too busy” because really, when it comes to someone’s life, I’m not too busy ever. If the person asked me to do them a favor, I would.

There may be times in my life right now that I question whether or not to do something for someone. But if that person asked me and I knew they were going to die the next day, I would do it in the snap of a finger.

I would obviously treat them kindly. I’m a kind person in general. I would be empathetic and try to imagine what that person is going through.

I would ask the person if there was anything specific they wanted to do or see. Maybe they want to see a movie or visit a special place. I’d make sure to do what I could for that person who dies tomorrow.

So, how would you be different if you knew a friend or acquaintance was going to die the next day? Would it phase you? Would you not really think you had to treat them differently? Would you be nicer to that person or act the same as you always do?

Thinking about this has got me real emotional and kind of sad. It makes me believe if we approached everyone we know and meet in this way, things would be different.

I think many of the people in the world would be more aware of their actions and behaviors and how they affect others. I also think many would be nicer and care more if we acted as if someone we know or are friends with we’re going to die the next day.

I believe we would take that extra step to do everything in our power not to hurt people. I know I personally would. I definitely know I’d be more careful with my words and my actions so I don’t offend anyone.

Some people are just so self-absorbed in the world that they fail to see how they may be impacting or influencing someone’s life. They can’t see or aren’t aware that their actions and behaviors can negatively affect another person nor do they understand how it may affect them.

I just think people would be more careful and aware of how they act and behave. The world may be a better place to live in if we approached everyone as if they are dead tomorrow. It wouldn’t feel so cold and lonely.

None of us are promised or guaranteed tomorrow. Anything can happen to any one of us at any given time. So, why not treat people as if they know they’re going to die tomorrow? That person may not be around tomorrow. And that’s the reality of the matter.

I Put Every Fiber of my Being Into Us While You Watched Us Burn To Nothing

The day you left me was a day I never expected to survive. It was so easy for you to leave me and life we had built throughout the years. You watched me self-destruct and acted as if it didn’t phase you. And maybe it didn’t affect you, but that isn’t even the point anymore. There was this unknown part of my heart and soul that I didn’t know existed until I started the process of healing from your traumatic departure. The amount of strength I didn’t know I had until you left is the greatest gift you have ever given me.

You wanted to blame me for your unhappiness and failure of our relationship. As if I wasn’t already down and out that you walked out on me, never to return, you felt the need to break me down even more by placing the blame on me. When it first happened, I spent many sleepless nights trying to figure out how the blame was being placed on me and how you weren’t responsible for any of it.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized you weren’t ever going to take responsibility for your part in the relationship because you don’t want to face yourself. You’d rather lie to yourself in order to sleep at night rather than face yourself and the damage you caused another human being. That’s the sad reality you live in which is why you were able to leave me so quickly as if I was an extra in your movie.

The reason you want to blame your unhappiness on the relationship is because you were unhappy with yourself. By not addressing the struggles and difficulties in our relationship when I brought them up, you drank yourself to sleep while I was next to you crying, not knowing what else to do to save us. The nights I stayed up all night trying to figure out ways to fix our relationship were epic failures, but that wasn’t my fault. You damn well can’t ever say I didn’t fight for us because I put my heart, soul and every fiber of my being into “us.”

You emotionally withdrew from the relationship without bringing it to my attention and I refuse to blame myself for that. Personally, I think there was too much blame placed on me, but that’s okay now. When you left, I didn’t think I’d make it another 5 minutes, let alone make it to the next day. But you knew that, remember? You just watched. That gave me the strength to come to accept that I never knew you and you never loved me nor cared.

When you left, I couldn’t accept that I had been used and manipulated. Now, you’ll be the lesson I teach my niece and future children of how to treat people and how not to treat people. At least you’ll serve some purpose.

Shame on me for putting my worth and my faith into someone else. Had you stayed, I would have never realized how much more I am worth than you ever gave me credit for. I would have never came to the conclusion that it was me who was settling for mediocre. Thank you for allowing me to see that because no one will ever have that type of power over my worth and my life.

I was devoted to you 110% and I wasn’t going to look back because I loved you. I can truly say I loved you unconditionally because your flaws would have never come close to the good in you, at least that’s what I thought at the time.

When you left, you helped me understand that not everyone is who they say they are. I mean, the way you treated me the last year of the relationship it was almost like sleeping next to a stranger I picked up off of the street. That’s how unfamiliar you were to me. Now, you’re a faded memory to remind myself of what not to do and how much I am worth.

You may have knocked me down temporarily, but sweetheart, I’m a fucking warrior and there’s no limit to my strength. You dulled my brightness and sparkle and I finally have it back. I have no idea where this strength came from, but I have you to thank for leaving and making me a stronger and wiser warrior. I was always too good for you, I just didn’t know it at the time. Today, I am filled with joy, happiness and laughter, not anger, hurt or bitterness. You were the lesson I needed in order for me to face my demons and come out on top. And I’ll remain on top.