Don’t Be Afraid To Date Someone Who’s Been Screwed Over

Why are some people so afraid of dating the girl who got screwed over? I’ve heard some people say “she’s probably too emotional and unstable right now” and “she’s probably crazy”. Well, she’s not.

She’s not broken and if she is, she isn’t asking you to fix her or put her back together. She is fully capable of doing that on her own. You can even join her journey of rebuilding herself. But do NOT interfere with that.

She’s not broken. She had some plans in life that didn’t go as expected. Does that really mean she’s broken? Does that mean she is emotionally unstable? Absolutely not.

If you decide to join her on her journey, you may find yourself learning from her and growing as a person. She may begin deciphering between what she wants and doesn’t want in a relationship or life in general.

Just because she’s in the process of rebuilding herself does not mean she doesn’t already love herself. There may just need to be some minor adjustments to her or her life. And if she loves herself, she is more capable of fully loving you than some others who don’t know who they are or who they want to be.

She’ll always have her core sense of self but life doesn’t always go according to plan. We also change throughout life, so we’re constantly revising ourselves and our wants/needs and likes/dislikes.

You think she’s emotionally fragile and vulnerable because she isn’t the person she fully wants to be today? She very well might be. But that’s the type of girl who is in tune with herself and capable of loving another selflessly.

She’s rebuilding herself in hopes for a better tomorrow and day after that. She is learning to grow and adapt to changes in her life. She is resilient.

While you doubt her ability to fully love you in a selfless manner, she’s slipping further and further away from you and you may lose your chance all together.

Maybe she considers herself broken. And that’s okay. It means the pieces are still around her so she can put them where they fit.

Someone who’s been broken or decided to rebuild themselves are the strongest and most dedicated people out there.

They see something isn’t right and they WANT to fix it. And the best part is that they’re doing it for themselves and those around them. The girl you think is so unstable may be the one who could change your entire world and you’re letting her slip by.

She will love you selflessly but also fearlessly. She will show you strength and she will show you vulnerability. This girl will show you many different ways of life that you’ll be speechless.

Don’t let her get away. Pursue her. Don’t try to fix her or repair her. She doesn’t need that. What she needs is support and a shoulder to lean on here and there.

She has been temporarily knocked down by this thing called life, but she has fought and conquered and will continue to do so as she rebuilds herself. This girl may not be her full self yet, but she is definitely ahead of others because she loves herself regardless of the changes needed to be made or what life has thrown her way.

She’s a fucking warrior. And warriors are capable of fully loving another person. They’re capable of selflessness. Because they know what it’s like to be knocked down and refuses to succumb to life’s curveballs.

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This is What the Girl With the Big Heart Deserves

The big-hearted girl deserves the world and more and anyone lucky enough to be with her should consider themselves in the presence of a queen. She deserves someone who gets her and accepts her as she is. Someone who is willing to go that extra step to understand the things about her that puzzle them. Someone who asks more and doesn’t just nod their head and pretend to care.

The girl with the big heart is used to caring for someone else’s feelings before her own so her feelings tend to be last to be validated if at all. She needs someone who can hug her and let her know she’s not alone. Someone who isn’t afraid to see her darkest hour. Someone who knows her true beauty at their best and worst.

Someone who recognizes when she’s wearing her mask to appear okay when in reality, she’s dying inside. She deserves someone who is attentive and recognizes her troubles. Because she won’t ask for anything but in her little comments or mumbling under her breath, there are truths that need to be heard.

She’s a true warrior with a heart of gold that’s been stomped on one too many times. She’s worthy of so much more than she gives herself credit for. The lucky one in her life needs to prove this to her everyday. She’s worth every minute.

The person worth being in her life won’t blow her off or brush off anything she says as if it’s nothing.

She’s the type to carry the world on her shoulders and ask nothing in return. She needs someone to carry her for a change and say “you’re not fighting alone”.

She will do the smallest things for people just to make sure they know they’re special and that she’s thinking of them. It would be nice if she had someone who showed their appreciation consistently for those small things. They do matter.

This girl with a big heart deserves to not be hurt again. She deserves someone who is as selfless as her and will look out for her best interest. Someone who is honest to a fault and won’t lie just to avoid a fight or to prevent her from getting mad. If that’s the reason or justification for lying, you’re obviously doing something wrong. And she doesn’t deserve lies and manipulation. She deserves truth and respect.

This girl wears her heart on her sleeve and she’s worth so much more than she knows. If only she would stop settling and see her beauty would she be able to see her true worth.

She shows kindness where rudeness exists. She shows strength instead of self-pity. She embraces change and doesn’t avoid it. She’s an amazing person and anyone to cross paths with her is lucky. She deserves the guy who will learn the value of life with her.

How To Hold Up Your Part of the Relationship When You’re Depressed

It’s not the easiest thing to conquer. It’s very difficult to participate in a relationship when you can’t even fathom getting up to shower. Everyone is different when it comes to depression and how it affects people.

That being said, some of the suggestions may need to be tweaked to suit your life and lifestyle. Some of these ideas may help and some may help generate ideas that work for you. I feel your pain and fight the demon of depression, so please know you are not alone.

JOURNAL

A journal between the two of you is a good way to keep in contact or write little messages to each other when one is away or not around. You can write how you’re feeling to your significant other or just a quick note letting them know you love them and care about them.

This also keeps the dialect and communication open between the two of you. Some people have a more positive experience with writing rather than talking. Others may be able to to write better than they speak. Whatever it is you and your partner agree to do, stick to it. It’s easy to drop the ball when depression is involved. Depression knows no limits.

DATE NIGHT

Schedule date night. Whether it is something to do inside or going out to see a movie, just something where the two of you can spend time together and be with each other.

Life is chaotic and throws many curve balls out of nowhere, so it’s easy to let this fall by the wayside. Do not allow it to become a habit.

GET A CARD OR MAKE A CARD

This is just a living gesture that helps your significant other feel cared about. It also gives a sense of security to the other that you care about them and wanted to make sure they know they are special.

ASK IF/WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS FROM YOU

Be straightforward with the other. Tell the other what you need and don’t be afraid to ask the other for help. Often times, we feel we have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders but we don’t.

We can ask for help. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable. It shows strength and courage to ask someone to fight this battle of depression with you.

ASK ABOUT THEIR DAY

This helps show you care about them regardless of how you’re feeling or if you had a bad day. It also opens the line of communication, which is critical for relationship success with or without depression.

This is also a way to take yourself out of your own mind and funk and focus on something else. It gives your mind a break to focus on what is important to you and for the relationship.

This is not going to be easy. It may seem easy at first to some people and for others it may seem like a daunting and dreadful chore. I know both sides. But you’ve got to put every effort forth to show in little ways that you are in fact still in the relationship. If you’re struggling with holding up your side of the relationship because depression is being a little bitch, you got this.

The Disaster of an Empath and Wounded Narcissist

It’s an epic match, the empath and the narcissist. To the narcissist, the empath is heaven, the source of the unconditional love and affection they’ve been craving. But to the empath, the narcissist is just hell disguised as what they thought was love. Initially it seems as if it’s just two opposites that attract, intense and passionate, but it’s runs much deeper than that. And ultimately, it is the narcissist who pulls the empath down into the rabbit hole of their toxic love. And yet the pattern persists, the empath always seems to fall for the wounded narcissist and the question of ‘why’ goes unanswered.

It’s a difficult pattern to understand because your average person would think “narcissist” and run. It’s general knowledge that a narcissistic partner means a one sided love, the epitome of give an inch take a mile, con artists and compulsive liars. All of which is true, but the mind of an empath is much more complex than to stop there.

A narcissist is someone who has perfected the craft of lying to the point where it’s most likely normal and unconscious to them. As a result, they’re constantly accusing their partners of cheating or lying and are suspicious for no apparent reason. They struggle with taking responsibility for their actions and instead find every reason to blame other people.

But the thing about empaths is they don’t see narcissists as what they are, they see them as ‘broken’ and ‘fixable.’ They see every fault of a narcissist and find a way to love it a little harder. They see a narcissists accusations of cheating and lying as their insecurities shining through, that in their past they must’ve had a heartbreak so painful that now they’re scarred. They think they’re in need of growing up, of someone to help guide them and show them how to take responsibility for their actions.

An empath would never push away a person because they’re broken, instead they would work every day to help them heal and piece them back together.

Empaths have hearts of gold that are constantly putting others needs before their own. Without even realizing it, they will throwing away their own well-being to sacrifice for this person who does nothing but drain them. They’re convinced this is love and what they’re doing will help in the long run. Empaths are givers with the best intentions, genuine and loving in their nature, and the completely unaware that the challenge ahead of them is unfixable.

Empaths are always searching for the good in every soul they meet, that’s why when they cross paths with a narcissist it’s no different. They will give their narcissistic partner the benefit of the doubt more times than they can keep count of. Forgiving them constantly because they truly believe they are just broken souls in need of a love so intense that they make it through this ‘funk’ they’re in.

But the fact of the matter is that a narcissist is a dead end, cureless personality disorder that no amount of love could change. It won’t be an immediate comprehension, as the empath won’t allow themselves to give up, but slowly the narcissist will prove their inability and resistance to change.

The narcissist will exhaust the empath with their constant need to be the center of attention and their failure to reciprocate the love given to them. A narcissist is never satisfied, ever, and sadly, the empath will come to realize this.

So why does the empath always seem to fall for the wounded narcissist? Because they’re good, decent people who were placed on this earth to help others. They are fixers who see a broken person and try to heal them. But unfortunately, a narcissist is too big of a problem for one person to solve.

Love Might Be a Gamble, But You Can Take a Chance with Me

When I tell you I want to know all of you, I hope you know I mean it from the bottom of my heart. We all have a past, some worse than others, but regardless of yours I want to know everything. Especially the parts you tried to throw away– you know, the parts you convinced yourself no one could ever love, because those are the ones I’ll love a little extra.

I am not proud of my past but it has helped me understand who I was and who I don’t want to be. The past can serve a positive purpose if we want a better future. I am here in the present and have no ties to your past. I am not your past.

I want to understand you by where you came from and how you got to where you are now. I want to travel that journey with you, but you need to trust me.

I know it may be hard for you to believe but I’m not here to hurt you. It’s hard for me to trust you and have faith in you too, but I am. I just want you to know that I’m willing to wait until you’re comfortable enough with me to show me your life, past and present.

Please remember that I’m not going to judge you or criticize you. I’m not going to use it against you in any way, shape or form. I promise not to ever throw your past or current life in your face in the heat of a moment.

I know it’s going to take some time to open up to me and I’m okay with that, just because I’m an open book doesn’t mean everyone else is too.

You get worried and anxious about certain behaviors and actions because it reminds you of bad parts of your past. But I’m not part of that and you really need to stop associating me with your past, I am not your old friends and ex girlfriends. And from the sounds of it, I’m glad I’m not.

I’m your present and you’re my present. It’s called “present” for a reason, because it’s a gift. Today, you are one of the gifts I am so grateful to have in my life.

You need to leave the past where it is and either bury it or close the chapter on that part of your life. You say you don’t trust people and have a hard time opening up to people because of bad memories and pain you went through.

How can I prove to you and help you understand that you can trust me? How else can I show you that all I want is for you to be happy and to be happy in whatever you want to call “us”? I say it like that because it’s never been talked about but we both know we’re more than friends.

You will always be my friend first. I need you to know that I only want the best for you and that I am here simply because you’re you. I do not want to cause chaos or drama in your life. I want to bring happiness, joy, comfort and be your safe haven when you are down and out.

Please start trusting me. Try to open up to me more. I can only understand you if you let me in, even the slightest. It’s hard to give someone the benefit of the doubt when you’ve been burned in the past, but I’m asking you to take a chance on me. I know I’m worth it and I hope at some point, you’re able to see it. I truly want you to know that my purpose is not to cause harm or bring pain.

So please trust me and believe me when I say I have your best interest at heart. It kills me to know the pain and hurt you’ve been through but I want to be the one to replace those times with positive and happy memories. If you let me in, you will see my heart is pure as gold and that I wouldn’t hurt you.

If you give me the chance, I will show you how you deserve to be treated. You deserve kindness, peace, love and admiration but above all, you deserve to be treated with respect and equality. You deserve someone who values your opinion and someone who will battle beside you to overcome any challenge or problem that comes your way.

And lastly, you deserve to be treated like the amazing and beautiful person you are on the inside and out. You are loving, caring and compassionate and you deserve the same love and compassion in return. And I will gladly do that if you give me the chance. Thank you for being an inspiration in my life and for showing me that not everyone in the world is going to hurt me. You truly have been a blessing in my life and I hope it continues.